As my family grows up and carves out beautiful lives of their own, I’m realizing — like many moms of grown-up kids do — that I’m no longer at the center of it all. If you’re in the same boat, you know the feeling! (And for those with young kids, consider this a friendly heads-up.)
We spend years juggling everything, holding our families together, and somewhere along the way, they learn to do it without us. That’s right: we’re not paying their bills anymore, they don’t call only in a crisis, and they’re doing just fine. Yes, every kid is different, and some of ‘em ride the "struggle bus" a bit longer than others (and we can laugh about that!) Ultimately, if we’re successful as parents, there may come a point where we’ve worked ourselves out of a job.
But that’s the goal, right?
It’s bittersweet but beautiful. Now, we get to find new ways to connect with our kids and show them they’re always loved.
So as the holidays approach, how do we make sure our grown-up kids feel cherished, even if they’ve flown the nest?
Enter: the holiday box.
What is a holiday box?
For those of us with grown-up children — especially when face-to-face visits are rare — holiday boxes are a sweet, thoughtful way to remind them of home. These boxes aren’t about flashy gifts or high budgets; they’re about little moments and traditions we’ve shared, and pieces of our family’s history, wrapped up with love. I love putting these surprise boxes together, and I start each year before Thanksgiving. Every child’s box is different, filled with thoughtful items that connect to their unique interests.
For example, if your son is a big soccer player, maybe his box includes a nutrition snack, a mini Christmas ornament shaped like cleats, or something sporty that suits his style. If your daughter is a bookworm, include a gift card to her favorite bookstore, a small holiday cake mix, some dollar-store holiday socks, and a framed photo of her reading as a child. For both kids, you could include a recipe card for their favorite childhood holiday treats, or a playlist of songs you used to play around the holidays. These little personal touches mean the world.
You can also arrange gifts that correlate with their current chapter of life. Say your adult daughter is married; consider including a mini charcuterie board, some holiday-themed socks, a festive tie, and if it would gel with her beliefs, a holiday prayer in a frame for their table. The idea is to remind them of the warmth and fun of the holidays, with a bit of their unique personality tied in.
You don’t need a big budget to make a meaningful holiday box. Thrift stores, dollar stores, or even homemade items can be incredibly special. It’s the thought that counts, and sometimes a handwritten note or a home-baked treat means more than anything else.
Why is it worth it?
The purpose of these boxes is to infuse a little holiday magic and remind them where they come from, grounding them in the foundation of home and family, no matter how far away they might be. Our children are out making their own lives, maybe even with families of their own, but these small gestures remind them how much we love and are proud of them. Each box is a small piece of home, a reminder that, no matter where they are, they’re still close to our hearts. It’s a way to say, “You’re loved, and you’ll always be part of this family.”
These holiday boxes can also be for nieces, nephews, a close friend, or anyone you cherish. It’s about showing them they were thought of and cared for. It’s not about buying silly Christmas socks for ourselves — we could all do that if we wanted to — the magic is in curating a little collection of memories, traditions, and love.
Use this as a brainstorming checklist:
— For the Foodie: Spices, family recipes, holiday tea or cocoa.
— For the Adventurer: Mini travel book, scratch-off map, small backpacking snacks.
— For the Nostalgic: Photo album, handwritten letter, keepsake from childhood.
— For the Music Lover: Holiday playlist, concert tickets, music-themed ornament.
Share your creativity.
I’d love to see your holiday boxes or hear about your own family traditions! Share a picture of your holiday box on Instagram and tag me @Quinn.Vise, or send a message if you’re looking for more ideas. Let’s bring some extra holiday magic to those we love this season!
Wishing you joy in creating and connecting.
Cheering you on,
Quinn