The Race Car 🏎️ Formula… and why knowing your own formula is worth discovering!
A passion-filled life, that-wins- means different things to different people.
Ask yourself this: what do you want out of the life that’s ahead of you? It’s okay if you’re unsure. I’ve found that the first step is often to give yourself a bit of space. Sometimes, we just need to take a step back, stop forcing things, and allow ourselves to focus on building healthier habits. Without a strong base to replenish your cup, it’s impossible to pursue anything without burning yourself out.
Grab your note paper and start listing, wants, dreams, and proposed timelines. Fill the page, then read below.
Over these last 12 years I’ve had to crack a few codes to get to where I am now and simultaneously have direction to where I want to go next — I had to figure out how to manage a home, motherhood, entrepreneurship, finances — all while trying to make sure that my health ( including emotional health) we’re not put on the back burner… so I could start moving.
I’m a ferocious reader (Enneagram number five here!) Most evenings you can find me consuming newspapers, magazines, blogs, books, YouTube videos, down a rabbit hole of online links, and social media that piques my curiosity. Learning organically and connecting with people of different talents and industries has helped to shine a light on the right path. Although, I should note, not everyone wants to share what they know with you. Don’t take it personally. This feedback loop showed me habits that successful people embody regularly.
With research in abundance, I began to categorize my notes and map out my daily intentions a year in advance. Looking back on that start of the journey, here’s what I learned.
- TAKE TO TAKE CHARGE
What’s it going to take? SLEEP 4,5,6,7,8 hours? It matters, and not having enough makes your energy hostile. How can you be authentically you when you're not recharging at night? FYI: even my phone won’t run unendingly, without charging time. As I previously mentioned, we need to have habits in place that help us refill our cup in order to pursue our goals. This means valuing our recovery time. Whether it’s a sleep mask, reducing our phone time at night, or getting better pillows for our bed, we need to make sure we’re getting proper and regular sleep in order to recover each day.
- NOURISH YOUR MIND
Journaling and personally speaking out loud conversations to yourself. Regularly writing about what’s a hit vs. miss is a feedback loop to stay on the fast track. Even better if you speak these words out loud, it gives you a way to check that your emotions and actions are aligned.
- MAKE ROOM FOR WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU
Discipline is not always lacking, like many think. Rather, you don’t have the space in your life to create something new because it’s already full. How can a sponge absorb anything else, when it’s already soaked? The will, the capability, and the desire is there; it’s the literal space in your day-to-day life in which there’s no more room. Start saying no to distractions and obligations that cost more than they’re worth. Make room. It’s important to take a look at everything you do and decide what is really worth your time and energy. Building up new habits doesn't have to be hard. Start small and be realistic.
- BELIEVING IN SOMETHING GREATER THAN YOURSELF
Faith and spirituality fill holes in our souls. To believe in something greater than yourself and connect your heart to what is pure, hopeful, infinite, and nurturing is a longing that will whisper to you daily; until you relent.
- BE CRITICAL ABOUT HOW YOU SPEND YOUR ENERGY
When we don’t get what we desire or work towards, it can lead to… giving up on the dream. We blame ourselves into a lonely, shameful corner, and end up kicking cute dogs and kind grocery clerks along the way. The dark cloud requires an umbrella, in other words, be prepared for rain. Having mechanisms in place, like proper fuel and recovery, go a long way in keeping the ball rolling. As I noted, we have to keep a realistic perspective of what we actually have time for and have the energy to do. When we lack time, re-examine what we put our energy into and find what isn’t helping you. When you lack energy, re-examine how you allow yourself to recover and how you fuel your body. We have to have a full and replenishing cup.
It’s a process. Knowing our personal formula of functioning optimally takes reflection and patience, continuing to fine tune our own engine. It takes time to recover and even more time to build the formula that allows our bodies to feel good. But I promise, it’s worth it, and you are worth the effort. As mothers, how can we have so much time and energy for our families, but so little for ourselves? Oddly enough, it’s not as difficult as it sounds to rebuild our base. I find it’s best to start small and then let our momentum carry us. Remember, all it takes is something like drinking water before bed and first thing in the morning. This led me to think about what else I need to feel good. I began to focus on eating a good breakfast each morning, which gave me more energy throughout the day( ending the night binges) and opened the door for more habits to be made.
So, how can you get started with building your formula, for achievable outcomes?
To answer that, here’s the follow-up question: how does a race car prepare for a race?
Surprise! You are the race car. A beautiful work of art, grit, and trained machinery that has the capacity to take some tough turns, and ultimately get to the finish line.
The trick is, only YOU as the invaluable race car know what you require to see that checkered flag. To win — in whatever way you defined earlier when you were writing your goals down on that piece of note paper I mentioned.
If it sounds daunting even at this stage, here’s my guidance: start with 5 essential needs unique to you — yes, you might have more, but let’s start simple — needs that you have that are usually ignored.
Here’s where I like to throw in a reminder: read point no.5 above again. When we don’t win, we turn on ourselves like the judgemental high school girl. Self-deprecating. Shaming self-talk. If a race car doesn’t win, it’s thoughtfully brought back to the pits, where mechanics check the components, and see what needs to be worked on. It’s never brought to the scrap yard. Don’t give up on you 🤍
If you’re not sure what your exact needs are, I have a few suggestions for how to check under the hood. There’s no coincidence that there’s an overlap between what’s listed below and what’s listed above. I had to check in with myself about these topics in order to learn the truths that I now hold dear! Start by evaluating:
- How much sleep do you require? (Not necessarily your current average.)
- Gut health check — what kinds of foods does your body run optimally on? Processed foods do not build athletes or sharp minds. It’s a quick way to sabotage your best efforts. Moms especially can be guilty of poor nutrition, with irregular meals, while caring for their families. Say agua, how much water do you consume daily and to make it enticing, look at additives. Binge eaters listen up, it’s game over and not working.
- Family and personal relationships fill us with meaningful time that leads to feeling loved and appreciated. It’s a key piece of what helps us run our engines. Scrolling on the couch next to your partner is not fulfilling. Going to the park, but only watching kids play while you tap your laptop isn’t quality time. Plan your time thoughtfully, write it on the calendar, and start tracking.
- This is worth repeating. Faith and connections. Looking to only ourselves for all the answers can lead to a very disappointing outcome. It will not fill your spiritual self. Believe in something bigger than yourself, millions of people are searching and finding peace in laying down their burdens.
- Rapid fire these buzzwords next, and see if any of them resonate with keeping your cup full. intimacy? meditation? financial management? connecting in nature?
It matters. You and your beautiful life matter. Desires, undiscovered talents, and your financial freedom (to name a few) all make a difference in winning the race.
You as the race car have so much potential, but you need the right pit crew, the right tools, and the right fuel to go the distance.
Take the goals that you wrote down at the start of this blog post and tape them to your bathroom mirror. Sometimes we win, sometimes we learn, but never turn on yourself. Go back to the pits, and be your own loving mechanic.
I’m cheering for you,
Quinn
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