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Midnight Baking and Life Lessons

09 Jan, 2024
Quinn smiling in blue top with trees behind her

Being a mom is one of the most rewarding roles we'll ever play, but let's be real—it's also one of the most challenging. It's a world filled with tender moments, little victories, and yes, a whole lot of personal sacrifices. Sometimes, amidst all the giving and caring, we catch ourselves hoping for a little acknowledgment, a simple "I see you and all that you do." In these moments, we tend to step into the realm of silent martyrdom, often giving so much of ourselves without expecting anything in return, but secretly hoping for a little recognition for our efforts.

This silent martyrdom in motherhood became crystal clear to me during one eye opening experience. My daughter, in third or fourth grade at the time, was passionate about horseback riding. For her birthday that year, I decided to bake homemade sugar cookies in the shape of horses as her school birthday treat. Of course, I didn’t start baking until 9 pm the night before, after a busy day on the go with my family. As I meticulously decorated each cookie to perfection, the kitchen was filled with a mix of determination and exhaustion.

Hours later, with the kitchen lights glaring in the quiet house, my husband walked in, squinting and obviously disoriented by the bright lights and the scene before him. I could feel his judgment about me still being up, but as he watched me slaving away, he said just one thing:

"Martyrs don't win blue ribbons."

His words hit me hard, a sharp reminder of the unseen efforts and expectations we, as mothers, often carry.

It took me a while to digest what he meant, to see the beauty and truth in his words. The next day, as I handed the beautifully iced cookies to my daughter, her reaction was simple yet so typical: "Oh, thanks! That's great." She took them to school, leaving me eagerly awaiting her return for a report of appreciation.

But the reality was different. There was no grand acknowledgment, no declaration from my third grader about the best birthday cookies ever. It was then that I felt the real impact of my husband's words.

This experience led me to some deep self-reflection. Why do we go that extra mile? Is it for the recognition, or is it a pure act of love, a reflection of our desire to care for our family?

It's crucial to ask ourselves why we're doing what we're doing, to recognize that our efforts are about fulfilling a part of us that revels in loving and nurturing our family, which often extends to our community. But it’s also important to keep in mind that nobody owes us for these acts of love. Our children and partners don’t owe us anything for these sacrifices. It's about finding joy in the giving, not in the potential for receiving accolades.

In motherhood, every day is a journey filled with challenges and rewards. Let's embrace these moments with grace, understanding the power of giving with purpose and the joy of living and loving with all our hearts.

What drives you to go the extra mile as a mom? Have you had similar experiences? I'd love to hear your stories in the comments.

Always cheering you on,

❤️ Quinn