My kids are very familiar with this concept. Your kids probably are, too, if you ask them!
In the typical Super Mario Brothers video game, a loveable little italian plumber named Mario has no choice but to continuously adventure toward the right side of the screen. He runs, he jumps, he avoids dangerous obstacles, and against all odds (with the skill of the player on his side) he makes it to the next level.
Life is a lot like a Super Mario game: you're always moving forward, facing challenges, and learning to level up.
(Check out a clip here.)
Video games aside, thinking of challenges as growth opportunities requires a lot of maturity. It’s easy to sound preachy or like an expert, but I want to be upfront: I’m not here to tell you how to live your life. I can only share my experiences and a few stories that have helped me. We need to keep this real because nothing is more annoying than listening to someone who acts like they have everything figured out. You know the type — those conference speakers who make it sound like their life has been a string of A-pluses with only one tiny “oops”, followed by making $100 million the next year. It’s discouraging when all you’re looking for is inspiration, and all you get is someone telling you how to become a billionaire in 30 days by watching a 20-minute video.
Honestly, just thinking about it gives me a headache.
Hardships are just that, they’re hard. Whatever these hardships might be, whether it’s divorce, career setbacks, challenging schoolwork, you name it, they often demand deep reflection and discipline, or in a more motivating word, tenacity. And you know what, we don't talk enough about tenacity! That grit to keep going, no matter how many times you fail.
To be tenacious, by definition via Merriam-Webster, is to be “persistent in maintaining, adhering to, or seeking something valued or desired.”
In other words, to use a popular phrase, “nevertheless, she persisted.”
Some might argue that repeated failure means you’re out of your league, and that could be true in some cases, but often, you just have to keep reworking the problem. Take parenting, for example. You can’t opt out when it gets tough. When you're exhausted, recovering from a cesarean, and your partner is back to work within 48 hours, you might think, "I can’t do this." But you can’t just give up. You have to problem solve, because this challenge is your reality.
Sometimes, all of the tenacity that life demands of us can make it feel like we’re in some relentless initiation. Like something out of "Lord of the Flies." Whether it’s in your career, marriage, or education, you have to make tough decisions. You’ll realize there are things you don’t know, and figuring them out requires you to grow. The hard work of learning your lessons comes back around again and again. The great news is, though, that with those lessons learned, your next level is just around the corner.
I love the saying, "you won’t change until the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change." Sometimes, suffering is the catalyst for growth. When the pain of where you are becomes unbearable, you’ll do whatever it takes to move forward.
When I got married at 18 (which, in my own hard-won wisdom, I don’t really recommend) and was pregnant just three months later, I found myself staring at a cluttered extra bedroom that needed to become a nursery. It was full of my teenage stuff, my new husband’s things, and wedding gifts that still hadn’t found a place. It was overwhelming. I had no idea how to turn that mess into a nursery. But I had to shift my mindset and realize that no one else could do it for me. I had to make it happen.
As I continued through my late teens and twenties, raising children brought countless challenges. Parenting is full of moments where you feel inadequate, but you can’t give up. Once again, you have to keep moving forward.
Life is about facing these kinds of challenges, over and over again, as we continue to grow up. These experiences teach us maturity. There’s no way to opt out, no way to say you’re out of your league, because — news flash — everyone is unqualified! Everyone is just figuring it out. You are not an island; someone else has walked this path before you. Sometimes our ego tricks us into thinking we’re the only ones who’ve suffered. But the truth is, these are universal life experiences.
Now that I’m in a different phase of life, with three of my kids out of the nest and living independently, I often reflect on how each “level” of life represents a different season, full of challenges to overcome. If you want to keep moving forward, you have to accept the challenges, find the hidden gems, and keep going. In the end, there’s always a reward — a crown, extra points, something that propels you to the next stage.
When my kids were teenagers, I used to tell them that life is like a game. You have to tackle the hard stuff if you want to see what’s on the other side. Whether it’s getting good SAT scores, applying for college, or navigating your first job, you have to have the courage to face it.
Acceptance is key — acceptance of what you want and what it will take to achieve it. It’s also about not getting bogged down by every emotion or thought that crosses your mind. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them keep you stuck. Emotions are valid, but growth happens when you move forward despite them. There’s a lot of talk on social media these days about how every feeling we have is valid and valuable. But at the end of the day, you can’t stop in place forever and just mull over your feelings, you need to keep moving forward. Learn the lessons you need to learn, and get moving. Toward that end: focus on staying healthy. Understand how you function optimally, and prioritize your needs without guilt. Whether it’s sleep, nutrition, or filling up your metaphorical cup, keep yourself balanced so you can push through the hard times when they come.
Challenges will always be there. Growth will always be possible. And I encourage you to think of this journey as a Super Mario Brothers game — full of obstacles but also full of rewards.
No matter the obstacles, you have the power to press 'continue.' Keep jumping, keep dodging, keep leveling up — because the reward is waiting on the other side.
Just. Keep. Going.
Love, Quinn