Wedding season is here, my friends! I’ve been in the beauty industry for more than 25 years, and my claim to fame has been special occasions, editorial, and bridal styling. I’ve learned a thing or two when it comes to weddings. Whether you’re newly engaged or otherwise, it’s my hope that these pearls of wisdom help guide and prepare you as you think about your (or someone close to you’s) big day.

Find your vision and communicate it well.

For all my brides out there, be sure that you’re surrounding yourself with your most encouraging and supportive loved ones. You want people around you who understand what your vision is. 

But how to find and share your vision?

Pinterest is a beautiful tool for brainstorming and vision-boarding. I also suggest watching a couple of movies in which people are getting married, such as Runaway Bride (1999), or Father of the Bride (1991). Look at family dynamics in those movies in an open-minded way, rather than being critical. 

What stands out to you that you enjoy, and how could you incorporate that into your loved ones’ experiences? 

When I got married to my husband, he had only attended one wedding in his entire life — and he’s older than me! I think he was 37 or 38 when we got married. So you might chuckle a little bit, but that could be your friend or family member, as well, that doesn’t have a whole lot of experience to draw upon.  Watching those movies together, and going through a Pinterest board of your ideas can help bring you together.

Plan your beauty services ahead of time. Map them out on a calendar.

Coming from the beauty industry, of course, planning out beauty services that matter to you comes to the front of my mind. Beauty tasks for weddings have evolved over the last five years, especially with regards to Botox and hair extensions, which have both become acceptable parts of people's day-to-day lives in regards to their self care. 

I bring that up to really encourage my brides and grooms to get out an actual calendar, depending on what the length of an engagement is, and to start plotting out the timing of the services you or your loved ones will receive. 

When it comes to hair extensions, there are a variety of options, whether it’s clip-ins, halo hair extensions that are applied the day of, hand tied extensions which are sewn into the hair, or tape-in extensions which could stay in the hair approximately six to eight weeks (but are not nearly as costly or time consuming as hand tied extensions can be.)

Depending on your overall look, being able to do some research, and on the desired end result that you're looking for, getting in for a consultation with your hairstylist or with a bridal stylist in particular can be a key step. Let their input to help guide you as you plan out the weeks leading up to your big day. Arming yourself with that knowledge always empowers you. 

Look critically at what you’re asking your wedding party to commit to, financially.

I’ve seen friends and family really struggling with expectations they have regarding what they're going to be spending on a wedding.

If you are a mother or a future mother-in-law, take a step back and and when the time is appropriate, encourage the couple to look at their assets and assess the financial commitment they’re asking of their wedding party. 

Are there going to be bridal showers others are expected to attend? Are there going to be bachelor/ette parties that are going to require travel? Are they expecting people to buy whole new suits or new dresses, or will the couple be purchasing, for example, their maid of honors’ dress? What is the expectation?! 

Taking a hard look at who will be responsible for which purchases can honestly save not only the mood of the wedding party, but certain relationships, as well. My advice is to just be really mindful and sensitive in a loving way — not everybody can afford to fly out to Vegas for a bachelor party, and also host and pay for a bridal shower. Let alone all of the other expenses. 

When it comes to the beauty side of the wedding expenses, I've seen the financials handled a couple of different ways. Sometimes the bride, as in the bride's family, will pay for all beauty services. Other times, they will pay for the hair, they won't pay for the makeup, but the makeup is still available for booking. Sometimes the bride will just buy a gift card for a set amount for each of her bridal party members. 

You have to be a bit careful here, because sometimes after services, depending on the vendor, can be billed as one large invoice for a bridal party, not separated individually by party members. In other words, it’s similar to if there's 20 of you attending a dinner party at a restaurant, the server will preface that there's going to be one bill with a gratuity automatically added. Make sure you're asking those questions in advance if you’re considering going the gift card route or doing partial payment for your party’s elected beauty services. 

Be considerate of who is in an awkward position. Help them feel seen.

Another thing that I have noticed is that so often the groom's mothers are in an awkward position. For one, they typically don't have as close a relationship with a bride. They want to do what's best. Their heart is in the right place, and I just want to pay homage and recognize that, in remembering all of the women I’ve worked with while doing bridal beauty.

In striving to do the right thing, however, anxiety can also creep in.

In blended family situations, bonus parents often have a heightened sense of wanting to do the right thing and to be supportive. Their anxiety can creep in because there are conversations taking place that wouldn't otherwise normally happen. And those of you reading this might be nodding your head because you are that blended bonus parent, or you are that in law that had to have an awkward conversation about the role you’ll play on the big day. I recognize you.

At any big gathering like a wedding, there’s always a chance that there are going to be some weird moments. While you don’t need to expect or accept bad behavior, you can approach the day intentionally from a place of grace. Keep your heart soft, aim to forgive quickly and easily. One big day cannot account for the totality of how much you are loved. 

I've seen a lot of instances where people at weddings, and during the lead up to the big day, are simply trying to do the right thing — and they still end up stepping on people’s toes. Sometimes it happens when we’re trying to please so many family members, especially when we’re not privy to which family members are part of the planning process, or are whispering in the couple’s or wedding planner’s ears, or are lending money. Things can get tricky. Miscommunications happen. I choose to believe that more often than not, people’s hearts are in the right place.

Make time for moments of connection during the week of the wedding.

I think it is such a sweet touch when brides and their mothers (and future mothers-in-law) take some special time away during the final lead up to the wedding. 

If the wedding is on a Saturday, this can look like doing breakfast on Wednesday morning, or having a pizza night Thursday evening, or getting manicures together on Friday morning. There are also ways to include the groom and any father-figures, too. This also opens the door to include special moments for any mixed or blended family members, as well, which can be a much-needed ice-breaker before the wedding.

Even if time is scarce during all of the lead up, I would encourage any brides or grooms out there who are reading this to do this, even if you don't necessarily have a really close relationship with your parents it's still a beautiful touch. It's a way of ensuring that when you look back on your wedding, you’ll know that those sweet moments of connection were offered. Set the tone for the big day with kindness and inclusion.  

And for those of us in parental roles, it's thought provoking, isn’t it? Anytime we can build foundational memories that are going to carry these soon to be newlyweds into their journey ahead, why wouldn't we do that? Why wouldn't we want to give them the best start ever?

Beware the bridesmaids. Choose your wedding party carefully.

I have found that when it comes to bridal parties, it is sometimes the bridesmaids that are the biggest handful. The bride can be sweet as can be, but she's got a maid of honor who is very particular. 

I’ve seen it play out so many times. The MOH lets the bride know that, in her opinion, she doesn't care for the eyelashes that are being used, or how she isn’t really liking the way her bun looks, the way her eye shadow is being applied. On and on. 

If you’re preparing to establish your wedding party and someone like this comes to mind, really consider if you want that potential stress bomb in your midst. 

Remember: you don’t have to have 4, 8, or 12 people standing up for you at your wedding. There is nothing wrong with a bride or a groom choosing just one person each to stand with them. Another way around having a massive wedding party is by taking all of the high school friends and college roommates and what-have-yous completely out of the equation, by just simply going with one sister or one brother. That is an easy way out. 

Find ways to think outside the box! If the bride has two favorite besties, why can't they both be sharing the duties of maid of honor? 

When it comes to wedding parties, and bridesmaids in particular (or hey, maybe the groom has a college buddy who can’t hold his liquor, who should simply be in the audience), simplicity is a beautiful thing. 

Remember to make your wedding your own, and eliminate stress where you can.

Write a thank you card, and think twice before you write a review.

Every now and then my team and I will receive handwritten thank you cards from a couple whose wedding we serviced. This always makes an impression — even more so if the card includes a photo of the couple and/or wedding party, since we as vendors so often don’t get to see the professional photos of the events we help with. 

When getting one of these thank you cards, I always think to myself: “it is so thoughtful that they took the time to do that.” 

When you approach your newlywed chapter from that place of mindful gratitude, you’re building a strong foundation for success as a couple. You’re putting your best foot forward, especially if you’re residing in the same community as the vendors you’ve hired. In small towns, a good reputation speaks for itself.

Speaking of reputations, another thing I’ll bring up is reviews. 

Reviews help us as vendors thrive, reach more clients, and share our talents. They’re very much appreciated. And yet, my take on reviews is this: emotions come and go, feelings will dissipate with time, but a bad review will live forever. 

If there was an issue with your services…

Talk. To. Your. Vendor. Before reviewing.

Once upon a time while working on a wedding, my salon’s bridal team arrived late to the venue by an hour. One of our bridal coordinators had just left our team and a new one was taking over, and this oversight occurred as a result. Needless to say, the bride was stressed out. Of course, this was our mistake, and so we worked to compensate for it by sending more than the originally allocated number of team members. Despite the stress on the front end, the bridal teams were able to get all of the services done for this bride and her family members early. 

So although the team arrived late, every single person’s hair and makeup was done ahead of schedule, and they all looked beautiful. There was no rush job. It was done impeccably. 

Cut to after the wedding, and the bride has left a horrible review about our services — not mentioning anything about everybody being ready ahead of schedule, or that they loved their looks and were verbally raving about the services.

And here's the kicker, I comp’ed everything because of our error. They did not pay a dime for anything regarding the day of the wedding. Yep, you read that, right. All in all, the only thing that the bride paid for was our trial session prior to the big day.

So, this is a situation where the lingering feelings won out over the facts of the day, and the bride sought out an unfortunate kind of retaliation. 

I tell this story to say, please, please be considerate when preparing to write your reviews.

And to all of my modern mothers with growing children…

I don't have any children that are married yet, but throughout the years I have taken moments of reflection to ask myself, “how do I want to conduct myself when the time comes?” 

Our children are everything to us as parents, and even so, sometimes we grow further apart. Sometimes we experience challenging family dynamics. But with that said, always choosing to represent ourselves authentically with grace sets the tone beautifully. 

Long ago, when I was in the throes of divorce and dealing with blending my own family, I remember having a conversation with my son, who was quite angst-y at that time. After a particular breaking point, I said to him very bluntly, “if you are going to grow up to be an a**hole, you will not have learned it from me.” 

I leave that bit of dramatics with all of you in closing, and with the wisdom that when it comes to weddings, if someone is going to learn how to be horrible, let it not be from you. Let that lay on someone else's conscience. Conduct yourself with such grace that that is what's remembered in the end. 

So much love to all of you, and thanks for reading. Cheering all of you on during this bridal season! 

🤍 Quinn