As summer winds down and school starts up, many moms find themselves in unfamiliar territory. The house is quieter. There’s open space on the calendar. Whether your kids are headed back to school, off to college, or just becoming more independent, this season can stir up some big emotions: melancholy… confusion… even a loss of identity.

If you've spent years as a full-time caregiver, this shift can feel jarring. Who am I now that the kids are gone during the day—or gone altogether? What do I do with all this time and space? These are big, valid questions, and you're not alone in asking them.

Step One: Reclaim Time with Purpose
Start small. Take a block of time each week, and use it to ask yourself the big questions (ie. when before I would’ve been playing taxi driver, I now find my calendar open, and can use that time to reflect.) Ask yourself out loud: 

• What am I curious about?
  
  

• What would nourish me right now?
  
  

• What have I always wanted to explore?
  
  

Even if it’s just Tuesdays from noon to 3:30pm, protect that time. Write down five ideas—self-care practices, creative interests, movement, learning, or plain rest. Let it be yours.

Step Two: Redistribute the Love
Look around: who’s still here? Maybe it’s your partner, your parents, your siblings, your friends. This is a beautiful chance to pour back into the relationships in front of you. Schedule a date night. Call your mom more often. Reconnect with your support system intentionally… not just when things fall apart.

Step Three: Reimagine Your Career
This could also be the time to ask: Is my career still serving me? Maybe you want to add hours, pursue training, or explore a new direction entirely. With tools like AI, online learning, and flexible work options, now might be the time to grow your skills or pivot altogether. Your path doesn’t have to be fixed.

Avoiding the Island Mentality
There’s a quiet trap that can sneak up on us moms: isolation. You might catch yourself thinking, “Why am I the only one struggling? Everyone else seems fine.” You are not the only one. But you do need to name it. Journaling helps here, and so does being honest with yourself, before dumping every emotional wave onto your partner or friends.

Yes, your partner loves you. Yes, your best friend is a great listener. But they’re not your emotional catch-all. Check in: Am I venting… or am I offloading? If it’s constant, it may be time to get support, talk to a therapist, or return to journaling as a safe place to process.

We Raise Them to Release Them
Let’s not guilt-trip ourselves for feeling things. Let’s also not spiral into “kicking dogs and petting kitty cats” (as I like to say)—stewing in our sadness while the world around us is moving forward. Your kid might be thriving in college or finally starting preschool, and that’s a win. Don’t let the narrative of loss overshadow their success—or yours.

Let’s not forget: the goal wasn’t to keep our children close forever. The goal was to raise humans who contribute to the world, not just our household. Their independence is a sign that you did your job. Now, it’s time to do yours again, for you.

Let’s chat, find me on IG @quinn.vise.

Cheering you on,

🤍Quinn