My goodness, the expectations for motherhood and parenting, of what a household even looks like, sure have changed. That’s why you see me using the phrase “modern motherhood” so often! 

Let's put it this way: modern motherhood involves not only striving to raise children and uplift your family to the best of your ability, but in today’s world, we also have to take into consideration how our roles as modern-day moms play into the betterment of our communities, and of the world at large. 

Now that’s what I call an evolved mindset. 

This is not necessarily something we had in mind while I was growing up. To my community that I grew up with in those childhood years, please do not take offense — remember, I’m sharing modern motherhood concepts. Times have changed. Our world has shifted, and we have to, too. My point is that growth is beautiful. And choosing to look at my own heart, welcoming evolution rather than ‘I hate change’, is where I’ve discovered gold. 

Let’s look in the mirror. 

Never before have we been truly challenged to look at things in this broader perspective with such grace, honesty, and integrity. Being constantly aware of the impact that our leadership in our households has on those around us… That is an absolutely stunning evolution. The beauty in how we are raising our families and the intention behind our parenting has weight. Our purpose as parents is greater than ever. 

Some days, just keeping our kids clean, fed, and safe is all we can manage. If you’re in what I call “the mud” right now, just trying to get through the day-to-day, I acknowledge you. I’ve been there. The hard work will have its own unique reward, and I’m cheering you on. 

In the moments in between and after that struggle, we know that how we are speaking to our children matters. Raising them with intention, so that they, in turn, can go out into the world with a strong foundation is key in this modern motherhood world. We also all know about the elephant in the room. The internet, the crazy way it works its way into our family’s lives, and how the downsides of that can impact our kids, is something we’re always contending with. Because of that, there's a responsibility that we, as parents, cannot necessarily ask our elders about. This unique era of parenting’s challenges are unprecedented.

So how do we cope? How do we meet this challenge?

As a parent, I know that keeping my cup full, and I mean full, is a non-negotiable. I have to take care of myself so that I can give back to my children. I also recognize that the fuller my cup, the more I can pour out, and then the more that my loved ones can pour into their loved ones, and on and on it flows. In practice, this looks like my children showing up to school and being respectful and enthusiastic with their teachers and classmates, in part because I am raising them from a place of intentional leadership. 

Here we go, truth-bomb incoming: the beauty that I see in my children is a reflection of the beauty that I see in myself. There it is. Seeing myself as someone who holds beauty, and can give it to others, centers around treating myself with grace and gratitude. It’s a result of seeing myself fully, and choosing to accept myself, regardless of what I see. That means that despite my shortcomings, my areas of challenge that I need to work on, and the habits that are not serving me, I choose to not only be OK with those elements of myself, but to see them as meaningful parts of what makes me who I am. When we are kinder to ourselves, we are kinder to others, who can then, in turn, be kind to others, too. The beauty of that speaks for itself.

So how do I keep my cup full, so that this beauty and kindness can flow, and so that I can be intentional in my modern motherhood?

Firstly, I carve out time to offload my thoughts and stresses through journaling, meditation, and prayer. Having all three of these as options means that on any given day I have an outlet that will potentially fit my mood. And prayer itself can look like many different things to many different people. Maybe for you prayer means driving to the beach to watch the sunset alone in your car, with your favorite music playing. Maybe it means calling your long-distance bestie to hear about her life, which is so different from your own. Maybe it’s visiting an elder in your life who is alone in a nursing home, and could use the company. There are so many ways to connect with your spirit, to that well where so much beauty comes from.

For a lot of people, exercise offers an outlet that re-centers your mind while also helping you connect with your body. Spending time with myself (and with my trainer) in the gym has been something I’ve integrated more recently. Having designated time each week that’s just for me, just for my body and mind, has been a fantastic evolution in my self-care.

Perhaps even more important than all of the self-care that I invest in, however, is knowing that I have to look realistically at which emotional bowling balls need to be dropped. Carrying emotional things, although they may be significant, weigh me down. Whatever happened, whoever hurt me or caused me to be sad, angry, or upset, I need to forgive them. I need to set down the big, bulbous weight of those things and move forward, because what I continue to focus on emotionally — a person or the world in general — affects the beauty that I can hold for my family.

Whoa. That is modern motherhood. 

Parental figures, and modern mothers in particular… What stunning creatures, to take on the responsibility of looking that much more in depth. To lead with care and responsibility. 

As a modern mother, I am taking how I show up in the world, and how I show up in my household, very seriously. Namely by being willing to hit the pause button repeatedly, as often as necessary, to keep myself self-aware — meaning, routinely taking a temperature test of how others are impacted by my emotions and by my actions. It starts with me. 

Our children are watching us. What daily habits are they seeing? 

Are we constantly scrolling on our phones? Are we always on our laptops? Are we always looking for ways to escape? Are we smoking cigarettes or vaping? Drinking often and heavily? 

Again, let’s look in the mirror. 

For us moms, in particular, there’s also the impact of how we speak to ourselves that impacts our kids. For example, when I get my clothes on and am looking at myself in the mirror, if I'm incredibly self deprecating that sends a message. Maybe I suck in my gut and say out loud: “Oh, this looks terrible, but this is just going to have to do.” It's recognizing the verbiage that I use about myself, working hard to see clearly what I actually believe about myself. 

It is also allowing my family to see me and for me, and to be transparent when I fall short. If I make a dinner that isn’t particularly healthy or well-rounded, I might say, “Oh, that wasn't the best dinner, but that's okay. You know what? Tonight, we are just gonna make do with the food that we have in the fridge. Tomorrow night, let's all make an effort to get some more veggies in.” Sweetly honest, without being self-deprecating, there are no apologies needed, acknowledgment is actually cool.

Beautiful modern mothers view the value that they bring to their households and to their communities with self-awareness and kindness, and are willing to start over as often as necessary to get things right. We have to strive to have a level of self love that, when things don't go well, we let them go and we grow. We commit to change, to doing better the next time or the next day, and what an incredible example that that can be for our children. 

We have to look in the mirror. 

A beautiful modern mother is number one on the list, thoughtfully sifting through her days with grace in regards to what she wants to change, refine, and alter so that she can be better for those around her, and lead by example. She rises to challenges, facing things head on with clarity. 

I'm only a DM away. Find me on Instagram, and you can also find me at the salon. I’m supporting you and encouraging you to look at what a beautiful modern mother you are, and can be.

🤍 Quinn