Let's get straight to the point: you are the race car. 

Yes, you! 

Maybe you’ve thought of yourself as having an engine that can win a race, or maybe you haven’t.

For myself, coaching team members, and employees—many of whom are women—there's a lot of shame and guilt to unpack as it relates to us being people pleasers, especially in our field as hairstylists. Many hairstylists are natural caretakers; their goal is to please, to give confidence to those who may have lost it, or to renew the confidence that was once there. (I don’t like the idea that people need to make themselves over. You don’t. You’re already amazing. Personally, I think sometimes you just need to unveil the beauty you already possess.) Our dream is to surpass expectations. What I’m getting at is that even though so much of our days are about helping others feel their best, we really need to look internally at what we ourselves need. 

So, how does this relate to being a race car? Let’s keep it simple: a race car, like a Formula One car, needs basics—oil, gas, tires, tire pressure, and a good team in the pit lane to name just a few. On my wellness journey over the last 18-24 months, I’ve realized that I’ve neglected some basics, especially with my people-pleasing tendencies. But make no mistake, just like a race car needs to keep these basics in check in order to speed around the track, so do you. 

Oil. Think of the oil in your race car as how well rested and hydrated you are. Oil keeps all the parts working together like they should, just like how drinking enough water and getting enough sleep keeps you balanced in your day-to-day life.

Gas. You can probably guess this one already! Yep, what kind of fuel, what kind of nutrition, are you putting in your tank? The better the fuel, the better the performance.

Tires, or in other words, your physical well being. The tires on a car are what move it down the road, after all.

Tire pressure, also known as your emotional well being. Notice that your emotional and physical well beings are closely linked.

A good pit team. You’ve got to have a solid community around you that can help you pick yourself back up and get back out there on the track.

On my wellness journey, I’ve had to journal, pause, and heal from codependency and people-pleasing. I had to untangle myself from the need to make others happy and figure out how to care for myself. Some of you might relate. Maybe you’ve been in a fog, buried in your career, or dealing with depression or past trauma. You might be carrying emotional bowling balls around every day, starting your day already exhausted.

What you need out of these basics will change with the different seasons of your life. For instance, a new mom needs different things than a recent college graduate, and a new business owner needs different things than someone starting out as a new employee.

I want you to consider if this resonates with you, or if you know someone struggling to see life clearly because they’re so weighed down by past hurts and traumas. For me, the Race Car Formula comes down to those essentials that help me function optimally (hydration, sleep, nutrition, physical and emotional wellness, and having a good community). We all know someone who has a dozen things on their wishlist for life, but for those who like simplicity, these 5 basics are a good place to start.

I’ll occasionally stop to rethink my essentials, but I always come back to those same ones. Knowing these essentials allows me to have intelligent conversations with my husband about when I’m misaligned, and when my family is suffering because I’ve neglected myself. No one else is really to blame for that, but being able to pinpoint which part of my race car has me losing speed is a great place to start.

As you read this, think about your own Race Car Formula. How do you function? How are you fairing with those things I mentioned? How much sleep do you need? How does your body function best? What type of nutrition works for you? How much water do you need daily? Do you even like the bottle or cup you drink from? Is your bedroom set up for good sleep? Do you need blackout curtains? Do you sleep with your phone next to your head? Consider putting it in the hallway to avoid those electronic waves and to help you get out of bed when the alarm goes off.

Nutrition, for example, is so key for me. I had to do some real trial and error to figure out what works for me. I realized that eating multiple small meals a day didn’t work for me. It slowed me down and distracted me. I do better with large amounts of water, at the ready fruits, and vegetables, rather than obsessing over several meal prep containers Maybe you can relate. Sometimes, simplicity really is better.

It’s important to remember that if your race car doesn’t finish the race or doesn’t win, your pit crew will bring it back to the pits to care for it, which is why that part of the Race Car Formula is so important. They don’t discard it. But as women, if we don’t finish or win, we often discount ourselves. We think we were out of our league or that we should stay in our lane next time. I encourage you to break your race car’s status down, to study why things happened, and ask yourself those healing, important questions. 

If you’re tired of self-help gurus and podcasts, just break it down to your essentials. On days when you struggle to stay in the race, ask yourself: did I give myself those basics? If not, how can I adjust things so that this isn’t so hard tomorrow? 

If a race car doesn’t have the right components, no one expects it to win. So, be thoughtful and sweet to yourself. Whether it’s nutrition, sleep, water, emotional connections, or prayerful time, identify what you need. Remember: you can start your day one over and over again. No one is judging you; it’s just you. I love the phrase, “You against you.” It’s you against procrastination, poor self-awareness, lack of discipline, or not going to bed on time. 

If you do feel judged, maybe it’s because people see a shift in you, and that can be uncomfortable. Be brave. 

Journal about those five essentials for your race car, your oil, gas, tires, tire pressure, and pit crew. Ponder it, record your thoughts, or have conversations with yourself. Process those emotions, put down those emotional burdens, and acknowledge the pain so you can release it. Pray for yourself, ask for grace for yourself. Only when you care for and love yourself thoroughly can you extend that love to others.

So, what is your Race Car Formula? What are your essentials? I’d love to hear from you. I’m cheering you on and lending you courage when needed.

Love, Quinn