Holidays are a magic act. And you are the magician. For working women, especially mothers, the last quarter of business demands collide with family expectations and social obligations. Picture a Libra scale with plates piled high: gifts, office parties, school concerts, family dinners, client gifts. If you don’t plan, that scale tips and somebody (usually you) ends up with mascara streaks.

Here’s a practical, no-fluff way to hold space for friends, family and business without losing yourself.

Get honest: name the want vs. the need

Start by asking two blunt questions: What do I need from this season, and what do I want it to look like? Write both answers down. 

The need is logistics (kids’ concerts, deadlines, client bookings). 

The want is the feeling—warm breakfasts, a night off, a photo that looks like you slept. Once you separate them, the plan gets easier.

Be brutally honest about how you actually spend time. Internet surfing on the couch at 10 p.m. is a choice. If you want to be present and energetic, choose sleep over doom-scrolling. I don’t say this with judgment, we’ve all been there, but with encouragement. Your self-care matters.

Start planning ahead, way ahead

These days, I begin mapping November and December in the summer. Why? Because “last-minute” is the top producer of holiday shame. Use blank monthly calendars (print one for November, December and January) and start placing the chess pieces: school plays, work deadlines, flights, and the three friend dinners you won’t skip.

When things are visible, you can make choices. Which events are non-negotiable, which you can skip, and where you need to say “no.” 

I try to remember the 4 P’s: Planning ahead transforms Panic into Presence... creating PEACE! 

Share the load—communicate with your people

Don’t silently shoulder things and then resent others for not seeing your exhaustion. Say what you need. Tell your partner, “I want to be present. Can you handle X on these dates?” Be specific. OK, so your partner isn’t thinking about gift wrapping or oven temps—but they are doing other things (car oil changes, house fixes)—assign tasks, not blame.

If someone expects you to be “jolly” and you’re not, don’t fake it. Say: “I’m planning this out so I can be fully there.” People will respect clarity.

Check the discipline, not the joy

This isn’t a lecture. It’s a mirror. If your cup is empty, ask: Did I let four nights of scrolling become four lost evenings? Did I schedule nothing because I assumed “it will happen”? Courage looks like admitting where discipline slipped and then re-claiming your time.

Small actions: set a bedtime, batch gift shopping into a single afternoon, create a “gift cart” of ideas as you see them online so you don’t scramble in December.

Protect your appointments—book your self-care now

Don’t edit or leave yourself out of those family photoshoots. Book your hair, nails, or  massage appointments now and treat those times as non-negotiable. If you cancel yourself for everyone else, you’re training those around you to see you as disposable. Read that again. 🙃

Book the appointment; show up for your memories.

Picture the Godfather voice: what do you want, and what are you gonna do about it? 🤌 That clarity—followed by simple, strategic action—is how you reclaim the holiday season. Own the plan, protect your time, book your care, and show up for the moments that matter. Cheering you on—plan boldly, rest fiercely, and enjoy the season. Find me on Instagram @quinn.vise, and let’s talk.

I’m with you,

🤍Quinn