Miracles exist, and they often appear where we least expect them — like when your ex-husband asks you to help plan his wedding.

Oh my goodness.

The Miracle I Never Expected

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that when we loosen our grip on control, miracles have space to happen — and often in the most unexpected ways.

When my ex-husband and the love of his life asked my husband and I if they could get married on our property, I was floored. Then they asked my husband to officiate, our youngest son to say the dinner prayer, and me to be the mistress of ceremonies — their wedding planner, essentially. They even asked if I could host my former mother-in-law at our house, since we had the extra room.

Some of you might read this and feel your body tense up, but to me, those are miracles.

Loosen Your Grip

It took a lot of self-reflection, forgiveness, and grace to believe that miracles can happen. It took accepting that I don’t always have the best plan. I knowingly laugh now at how many of us live with that belief, thinking that we alone have the best ideas, the perfect control over our lives. We couldn’t be more wrong!

I’ve had plenty of crummy ideas. I’ve fallen hard, mostly because my ego was propping me up to feel so big. Well you know what they say, the bigger they are, the harder they fall. I don’t think my older children from my first marriage, or even I, could have imagined that my ex-husband and I would be such close friends now. Ten years ago, if you’d told me this would happen, I’d have called you a fool.

Whatever higher power you believe in, there comes a point when you have to accept that you cannot control everything. Sometimes that means that the things outside of your control disappoint you. But the opposite is also true, the things outside of your control also have the capacity to delight you, to inspire you, and to surprise you into a state of wonder. 

In my eyes, through God’s grace, through the love and support from others, and through the time I’ve taken to reflect, I’ve learned that miracles are possible. Little by little — taking tiny tip-toe steps — I’ve been able to look at my blended family from a different perspective, not just my own. 

That’s where miracles start: when you stop assuming you have the best ideas, the best perspective, or control over everything, then you can make space for the possibility of something better than you could ever imagine.

Try reflecting on how you can get started on this path by journaling or meditating on areas where your ego might be getting in the way of healing or relationships. Open up your heart to all of the unseen, beautiful possibilities.

You’re Not Just Doing This For You…

The ones who’ve reaped the biggest rewards from this change in my mindset? My children.

My kids are now in this beautiful space where they no longer have to choose between their parents or pretend to be someone they’re not, depending on which house they’re in. For years, they had to shift who they were just to keep the peace between households. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I know I’m not alone — there are so many blended families where kids feel they have to do this.

At my ex-husband’s wedding on our property, I gave the welcome speech before dinner. I thanked everyone for coming and celebrating with us, but I also addressed the elephant in the room: yes, the ex-wife is helping plan this wedding. Weird, right?

(Queue the thankful, honest laughter from those gathered.)

Bravery and Responsibility in Blended Families

The truth is, most of us don’t believe that miracles can actually happen. I talked about the bravery it takes for parents to face what’s really going on in their family. For us, the easy thing would’ve been to keep blaming the other household — finding fault with them, judging them as bad parents or bad people. The hard thing was taking responsibility for how it was affecting our children, how it was hardening our own souls. We had to take responsibility for the role we were playing in the ongoing hurt.

That was hard.

But we — these four parents — have chosen to share this story because we want others to experience this kind of freedom. We want other families to know that this miracle is possible for them, too. This doesn’t mean all of my relationships are perfect, far from it. But I’ve learned to look at things from a new perspective, to step away from my ego, and to realize that I might not be the right fit for everything or everyone, and that’s okay. It doesn’t take anything away from me. In fact, it opens up space for something even better to come rushing in. 

Bravery isn’t about confronting others; sometimes, it’s about confronting ourselves. It’s about stepping back and admitting that we don’t always know best — and that’s okay. True bravery comes from being willing to try a new way, even when it’s uncomfortable.

So as we look forward to the holidays, harvest parties, Thanksgiving meals, and time with family, I want you to know that miracles do exist. They can happen.

As always, I love hearing your feedback. Feel free to reach out via email or Instagram DMs. Live, let live, and let the miracles in. You’ve got this.

Love, Quinn